i am beginning to fear the idea of the end of days is being played out to me in my dreams.
each time i fall head long into my dreams i met by close and personal friends, women i have loved, and select family members.
it begins much like any typical dream of reunion of lost friends and acquaintances does.
faces strapped with giddy smiles and glossy eyes.
small talk, chatting of years lost to time.
slowly but surely the mood begins to darken.
years of suppressed anger and jealousy bubble through one by one to the surface of the water to a slow rolling boil.
hateful words are thrown about freely.
fists fly like anviled butterflies.
and from this point on it becomes apocalyptic.
visions of tornadoes knocking on my front door.
i'm left devising ways to protect the seemingly innocent.
gigantic prehistoric birds ripped straight from the pages of a vonnegut novel roam the twisted and fiery skies.
what at first looks like a beacon of light sent from the heavens parting the clouds.
a ball of energy pulsates from the center of the beam and swells the sky. and the white beam strikes black and is surrounded by rolling balls of orange similar to a 10 ton atom bomb.
so much energy that even from viewing miles away you are pushed back by the breeze.
then the race begins amongst the hundreds of scrambling mice.
to "safe" and lowered grounds.
thoughts of jealousy are long gone, replaced by looming thoughts of survival.
and i'm thrown back to that beautiful harmless beam of light.
how peaceful and serene it made me feel.
the last words uttered by a woman in a red dress.
before the screams and profanity.
even during waking hours it resonates in my ears.
"it's god's cleansing touch."
god sure does have a funny way of cleaning up his mistakes.
a small child kicking and screaming amongst a warehouse ground scattered with toys.
smashing whatever may get in his way.
and he has decided to show me his temper tantrums in my mind's slumbering eye.
i can deal with thoughts of despair and destruction during the day light.
just leave my dreams be.
it's the only innocence i have left.