Monday, May 31, 2010

work history of the world part 3

job i've occupied:
1. school cafeteria dish washer - i was that kid
2. mr. b's pizza - making pies and playing dough golf... highly unsanitary
3. almega/tru-flex wire - i was a master of custodial arts... dick
4. banc-one - data entry... i basically ran the matrix
5. student rick merch guy - dream job at 20
6. superior contracting - me... building and destroying house and land... best job ever
7. some douche contractor in LA - saw terrible construction ideas and follow through.. terrible
8. sperm donor - any future son of mine... i apologize. sorry.
9. website logo design - punks on skateboards... i can dig it
10. 118 boardshop - hollywood - hi my name is life changing corruption.... nice to meet you
11. LiveNation - employee #2994583329. the devil finally made his deal sweet enough.
12. ValSurf - i loved this place. wish i would have realized it more then. i heart nate kaufman.
13. burton/channel islands/alien workshop - ha... hahaha... ahhhhh how did i not get fired. josh.
14. tada catering - fuck my life for life. but i love those fuckers.
15. unemployment recipient - thank you... i guess

i may have missed a few here or there.... but for the most part thats it. ohhhh i did work at aaron brothers for one day. i had to call in and tell them i would need a small hiatus from  work a day before my second day. but on my own behalf.... i was working for the rolling stones at dodgers stadium.... just to think if i would have just done that second day... maybe right now... i paul rossi could be assistant store manager at an aaron brothers art supplies chain store in southern california. some things can't be undone.... damn it.... if only... ohhh and i had to actually fire myself. not quit... i fired myself. the conversation went along these lines:

me: hey, it's paul rossi. i started last night stocking the store, it was my first day.
manager: oh hey paul. how are you?
me: i'm alright, just doing my government issued taxes.
manager: ohhh gezz! tell me about it. last year my mom owed $20,249 in back taxes.
me: wow! that is something else.
manager: yeah isn't it!? ever since then i've been strict on staying on top of my finances.
me: believe you me. i hear ya.
manager: yep.
me: mhmm.
manager: mmmm
me: well, hey i was calling to say, i won't be able to make it in to work on thursday. i just got booked to do 10 days with the rolling stones at dodgers stadium in southern california. off of sunset blvd, just take a left at elysian park ave. think blue. so i won't be able to come in for my 3 scheduled days of work.
manager: well, gez. ummmm.
me: yeah, i kind of have to take it, it's a lot of money, and well, to be honest it's the rolling stones. at dodgers stadium. 1000 elysian park ave.
manager: well i understand.
me: yep.
manager. mhmmm.
me: welllll.
manager: yes?
me: ohhh nothing my friend was asking me if kurt russell, was in "the thing"... i said yes.
manager: the thing?
me: yeah... are you kidding me. he slays in that movie.
manager: what's it about?
me: listen... i don't have time to explain the plot of "the thing" starring kurt russell to you at this exact moment. i just don't think this is working out. i mean we are in different stages of our lives right now. i just started a new job, and it's really promising and i'm really going to finally chase after my dreams. i mean it this time. not like the dog grooming company idea. i have to do this for me. and i can't have any interruptions in my life. i need to alone to think about all of this. i promise you... it's not you... it's me. i mean that.... not just saying that like everyone always does. i mean it... from my heart. i just need to find myself.
manager: i get it no... i really do. i just... i wis....
me: shhh.... shhhh. no. it's okay to cry.
manager: sniffle
me: shhhhhh. it's okay.... it's okay... shhhh.
manager: but... bu..
me: shhhh... shhhh. shhh..... sh.

something like that.. maybe not verbatim.. but something like that.


  1. YOU are such a monkey. Flinging Poo! Love Mom

  2. You are sweet. And The Thing is amazing.
    How does your brain work in these mysterious ways?